David Feldman Comedy

His reunion was approaching. The 20th. He wanted to go. But how could he? There wasn't enough hair.

The balding began after graduation. The same time his skin finally cleared up.

There were the usual signs. His barber needed welding glasses to cut down on the glare. The shower drain had a fuller shock than he did. And there always seemed to be the same hair in his soup.

Looking in the mirror on his twenty-second birthday he realized, "If I ever want to lose my virginity, I'll have to learn how to be nice to women."

He believed nothing was worse than going bald, other than maybe losing your penis in an industrial accident. But having experienced both he knew bald was worse.

Because he was the only one who knew about the severed penis. And doctors were able to reattach much of the stump.