Can you guess where I took the audio from? My favorite scene from my favorite movie. Anyway, some asswipe saw this on my site two weeks ago and cancelled a benefit I was scheduled for. You mean I wouldn't be right to work for free? Suck it.

I performed at the Fake Gallery last night. You can hear my jokes and share them with your enemies by clicking here.

Paul recorded this and

Darren Ayres edited it.

When it comes to loving a woman’s tan lines Republican Governor Mark Sanford prefers a Venezuelan Landing Strip over the Appalachian Trail... Venezuela? Apparently he has no problem shipping our Blow Jobs overseas as well... Sanford's wife must have known something was up, because when he went missing police issued an Amber Frey alert... Turns out Sanford's mistress was named Elizabeth. Right before he climaxed Sanford liked to scream, "I'm coming Elizabeth."

One of my heroes Ed McMahon bought the farm this week. And then the farm was foreclosed on. Turns out it was more of a second banana plantatation than an actual farm.

I met Ed when I did Star Search in 1994, yes I did Star Search, and he was incredibly supportive, even for someone as miserable as I. 

Had a great time this morning with Alex Bennett on Sirius. Forgot how much fun his show can be.

Some of you asked about my BBC apearance, here's the link: David On BBC

Below, you can watch me on Dick Cavett in 1969:

The cartoon version of my act. It's great if you're high.

The people from I2TV are now syndicating this video. So if you get cable or have the dish, you can see this video next week in the following towns: Waterford, PA., Lincoln, CA., Elk Grove, CA., and Cambridge Springs, PA. I have no idea what this means, but they tell me it's good.