YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY IMPOTENT WHEN...
Tomorrow I'll show you my monogrammed pump.
- YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY IMPOTENT WHEN...
- DEEP THROAT: ALSO WROTE ANGELA'S ASHES
- Cheney Tells Larry King He's Seeing An End To Iraq Insurgency
- TACO BELLE
- FDA SAYS VIAGRA CAUSES PROBLEMS WITH THE VISION THING
- EDDIE ALBERT BUYS THE FARM
- FDA: IMPOTENCE DRUGS MAY CAUSE VISION LOSS
- WE'RE SPONSORED BY LEVITRA
- G.I. JENNA OFF DUTY
- GRANDMA SQUEEZES OUT TWO
[What is this?]
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« April 2005 | Main | June 2005 »
May 2005 Archives
May 31, 2005
DEEP THROAT: ALSO WROTE ANGELA'S ASHES
I think he's an almost dead ringer for Frank McCourt.
Cheney Tells Larry King He's Seeing An End To Iraq Insurgency
May 30, 2005
TACO BELLE
Irma Dimas, El Salvador's contestant in the Miss Universe Pageant. Looks like Trump already got to her.
May 29, 2005
FDA SAYS VIAGRA CAUSES PROBLEMS WITH THE VISION THING
Rumsfeld dismisses Iraq's 'dead-enders'
Associated Press
6/19/2003
WASHINGTON - Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on Wednesday played down recent deadly attacks on Americans in Iraq, equating those losses with everyday violence in large U.S. cities.
May 27, 2005
EDDIE ALBERT BUYS THE FARM
via A.P.
FDA: IMPOTENCE DRUGS MAY CAUSE VISION LOSS
This explains why nobody in the Bush White House could find any WMD's in Iraq.
I guess this means eventually I'll be able to remove the bag over my wife's head.
Hell, if I'm blind, I might as well do my seeing eye dog.
But the best part in all this? All those sex offenders getting free Viagra from Medicaid and Medicare can now sue the federal government.
WE'RE SPONSORED BY LEVITRA
May 26, 2005
G.I. JENNA OFF DUTY
GRANDMA SQUEEZES OUT TWO
photo via GMA
SHUTTER BUGS
photo via CBS
RUPERT MURDOCH SAYS, "I BOUGHT AMERICA FOR THIS?"
American Idol photo via Drudge.
May 25, 2005
SENATOR TRENT LOTT SPEAKING ON THE RECORD...
FIRST LADY VISITS HOLY LAND
May 24, 2005
G.I. JENNA
JENNA BUSH'S GREEN ZONE
ALABAMA'S BACHUS
PHIL SPECTOR GETS THE
STATIC ELECTRIC CHAIR
Looks like he just saw a ghost, and a mirror.
Next time you're thinking of pulling a piece start with the one on top of your head.
This is what is known as a "Bad Head Day."
VIA: Reuters
"This court is now in session. All Rise."
"Mr. Spector. Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth except about whatever's on your skull so help you God?"
May 23, 2005
JENNA BUSH SPREADS DEMOCRACY
INSTEAD OF HER LEGS
PART TWO: Sgt. 1st Class Jenna Bush:
Easy Company 506th Infantry, Iraq
May 22, 2005
JENNA BUSH ON ALL FOURS
GETTING SOME ACTION
May 21, 2005
PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR:
JENNA BUSH IN HEAT
MEANWHILE... AS OUR PRESIDENT
PREPARES HIS MEMORIAL DAY SPEECH...
FOR THE WAR CRIMINAL IN YOUR PANTS...
THE SUN'S YELLOW JOURNALISM
Looks like a river flowing through his Sunni Triangle.
May 20, 2005
Saddam to sue over prison photos
Well, we've already read the briefs...
via bill robinson
"Aaron Carter. Aaron Carter. C'mon you stupid brain. Aaron Carter. Aaron Carter..."
A LINK BETWEEN SADDAM AND 9-11 INCHES
UDAY: Nice bag. Dad.
SADDAM: AYE KILL YOU!
May 19, 2005
NO YELLOW CAKE, BUT HERE'S A LITTLE CHEESECAKE:
THIS IS WHY PAULA'S ADDICTED TO PAINKILLERS:
ON NEWSTANDS TODAY
Michael Isikoff, who wrote the piece, also broke the Monica Lewinsky story in 1998
YOU'VE JUST SAT THROUGH YOUR
SEVENTH VEWING OF "REVENGE OF THE SITH..."
May 18, 2005
Sgt. 1st Class Jenna Bush: Easy Company 506th Infantry, Iraq
May 17, 2005
NEWSWEEK UNDER FIRE
PROTESTS IN JEWZAREBAD CONTINUE
May 16, 2005
RADICAL ISLAM TO NEWSWEEK: "APOLOGY ACCEPTED."
Like this would ever happen:
Sure they're burning our flag, but not as though they're doing anything disrespectful like flushing it down the toilet.
DR. FELDMAN By Stan Ritz
SENATOR DR. BILL FRIST MEETS PROTESTORS
TRIES TO FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE IS MY BROTHER
\
"Doris Day...Let's see, Doris Day. She was never one of my patients, so I'd say yes. She's still alive."
VICTORY FOR THE SIERRA CLUB
UNEMPLOYED ACTOR RON SILVER
LANDS MUCH NEEDED ENDORSEMENT GIG
I HEAR SHE'S A NICE PERSON
May 15, 2005
ASKED OF PAID ASSASSINS:
May 14, 2005
SCALIA FINDS HIS SOULMATE
May 13, 2005
President Bush greets award recipients of the 2005 MATHCOUNTS National Competition as Vice President Dick Cheney oozes life.
WOULD YOU BUY A 500 BILLION DOLLAR
NUCLEAR UMBRELLA FROM THIS GUY?
photo via yahoo
May 12, 2005
JANE FONDA ARRIVES FOR MOSCOW
PREMIERE OF "MONSTER-IN-LAW"
DR. FELDMAN By Stan Ritz
AND HABIB RITZ WITH HIS ACCUWEATHER FORECAST
May 11, 2005
#1 RULE OF THE BUSH WHITE HOUSE:
NEVER ADMIT YOU JUST DID SOMETHING STUPID
May 10, 2005
TRAVELS WITH DAVID FELDMAN
May 9, 2005
FREEDOM'S ON THE MARCH, BUT GEORGE IS DRIVING THERE
May 8, 2005
MOSES BREAKS 3,500 YEAR SILENCE
WITH ELEVENTH COMMANDMENT
ACTOR RON SILVER IN HOLLYWOOD PURGATORY
Ron Silver, pictured here, begins to pay heavy price for abandoning his once impeccable liberal bona fides.
May 7, 2005
GEORGE TILTING AT WINDMILLS
SOME PLACE OTHER THAN IRAQ
AUSTRALIAN HOUSEWIFE TEACHES CAT
TO USE THE OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN
Mr. Taters of
Sydney, Australia
Jo Lapidge of Sydney Australia, a mother fed up with cleaning up after her cat has taken matters into her own hands with a device that teaches felines to use the toilet.
Guardian & Mail, May 2, 2005
Mrs. Lapidge says her technique utilizes positive reinforcement, patience and glue.
"It's great," she says. "Teaching my husband took ten times as long, and he still can't hit the target like Mr. Taters does."
Mr. Taters, her fifteen-year-old Burmese purrs, "I never liked the outside, especially on cold mornings, and the box? Well, I'm fifteen. Let's just say privacy is appreciated."
Mrs. Lapidge complains that Mr. Taters spends all his free time hogging the bathroom trying to bury the toilet.
"I don't understand why," she says.
"Either do I," says Mr. Taters. "I can't stop myself."
Mr. Tater admits to being a compulsive paw washer but says trying to bury the toilet is unrelated to his O.C.D..
"It might have something to do with my being a cat...I think." He says.
Mrs. Lapidge says the other drawback is nine times a day her husband walks in and screams, "What lost its life in here?"
Mr. Taters says he dislikes the tension between him and Mr. Lapidge.
"The Mr. still resents the fact that I'm allowed to go standing up, while he no longer is."
THE CANDY MAN
May 6, 2005
DAVID FELDMAN'S LIMP-DAR TELLS HIM
UNEMPLOYED ACTOR RON SILVER IS SO-O-O- IMPOTENT
VINCE VAUGHN IS UGLY
May 5, 2005
SERBIAN SENIOR WITH ETHNIC CLEANSER
PAULA JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG
May 4, 2005
Suspected Senior Leader of Al Qaeda in Pakistan Is Captured
Picked up in Beverly Hills Small Claims
Court While Suing His Botox Shooter
Michael Jackson sees face and says, "Hey. He has what I used to have. A beard. How is Lisa Marie?"
May 3, 2005
THIS IS THE SIGN THAT GOT
ME KICKED OUT OF LAST NIGHT'S
AMERICAN IDOL AUDIENCE
YOU ENJOYED THE TV MOVIE
NOW EAT THE DVD
DO I SMELL M & EMMY?
May 2, 2005
WEDDING BACK ON!!!
DR. FELDMAN by Stan Ritz
May 1, 2005
ZELL MILLER DRIVES HIS HOME TO HOSPITAL
ASKED OF SINGLES:
